Divorce is hard enough without trying to figure out the house and mortgage by yourself.
Divorce + Mortgage Planning
Before you make a decision about the house, let’s make sure you have the right information.
I’ve been through divorce, too. I know it can be painful, isolating, and disorienting—and I know the financial decisions do not pause while you’re trying to get your bearings.
That experience is why I went looking for better answers. I pursued advanced training in divorce lending, got very specific about the mortgage questions that can change the answer, and learned how the housing piece needs to fit into the larger conversation.
As a Certified Divorce Lending Professional, I help you understand how the mortgage, the house, and your available options fit together. That might mean comparing a refinance, sale, or buyout; figuring out whether keeping the home is realistic; or making sure you understand the questions to bring to your attorney, CPA, financial planner, or real-estate professional.
I do not replace those professionals. I make sure the mortgage and housing pieces are part of the conversation early enough to be useful.
It is figureoutable. And I’ve got your back.
Divorce + the house: straight answers
Licensed in Arkansas, Arizona, Colorado, Idaho, Nevada, Oregon, Texas, and Washington. NMLS 1733485.
Can I keep the house after a divorce?
Maybe. I know that's not the satisfying answer…but it's the honest one. It comes down to two things: whether you can qualify for the mortgage on your own (including any support you'll receive), and whether the payment still works for your life afterward. Your agreement matters too, so it's worth knowing those answers BEFORE the terms are set.
If my ex signs a quitclaim deed, are they off the mortgage?
Nope. And this one trips up a LOT of people. A quitclaim deed takes someone off the title, which is legal ownership. It does not take them off the loan, which is the debt. Usually you're both still on the hook until the mortgage is refinanced, paid off, or formally assumed with the lender's approval. Same house. Two very different pieces of paper.
Do I have to refinance to get my ex off the mortgage?
Usually, but not always. Refinancing into your own name is the most common route. Some loans, including many FHA and VA loans, can be assumed by one spouse with the lender's approval. That can mean keeping the existing rate AND releasing the other person from the loan. Whether that's on the table depends on your loan type and whether you qualify on your own.
Can a refinance buy out my spouse's share of the equity?
Often, yes. Fannie Mae, for example, treats an equity buyout as a limited cash-out refinance when you've owned the home together for at least 12 months and there's a written agreement spelling out the transfer. Translation: it can come with better terms than a regular cash-out refinance. You still have to qualify for the new loan, though.
Can alimony or child support count as income?
It can. For a conventional loan, the payments generally need to be spelled out in a divorce decree, separation agreement, or other legal agreement, continue for at least three years, and show about six months of steady, on-time receipt. Other loan types have their own versions of these rules. Which is why timing matters more than people expect.
When should I talk to a mortgage person during a divorce?
Earlier than you think. Ideally while the agreement is still being worked out, because how it handles the house, the debts, and support can change what's possible afterward. I don't replace your attorney, mediator, or CPA. I just make sure the housing and mortgage pieces show up to the conversation while they can still help.
What's a Certified Divorce Lending Professional?
A mortgage professional with advanced training in how divorce affects housing and financing: titles, loans, buyouts, support income, and timing. I went looking for that training after my own divorce, because I know firsthand that these decisions don't wait for you to catch your breath.
General information, not legal or tax advice. Loan program rules vary, and every situation is different.